Author Q&A: Victoria Niño
I’m honored to share this next interview. Let me begin by saying how excited I am to introduce you all to Victoria Niño, an incredible mother, author, and advocate for women experiencing fertility issues. I was fortunate to meet her through my neighbor — I live among a great community of moms — and Victoria and I connected immediately.
We first met over lunch to talk about Victoria’s dream of writing a book and I was immediately moved by her mission, her dedication to her community, and her powerful story of love, patience, and empathy. Over the course of our work together on this book, I’ve enjoyed getting to know her and I’m so excited to introduce her to you all.
So without further ado, please meet Victoria, our latest author bringing empowering literature to our young readers.
What inspired you to write, "Our Hearts Match" and how long did it take you to write it?
Victoria Niño: As a new mother via egg donation, I had a really hard time talking to my daughter about her conception. I had practiced the words when I was pregnant, but when she arrived, I was a blubbery mess. I had so many irrational fears about how she might feel, and thus struggled to get the words out.
Over time, it got easier little by little, and by the time she was around two years old, she started taking over parts of the story that actually made it exciting and fun. So, instead of talking about eggs, sperm, and doctors all the time, I started telling stories about dinosaurs hatching eggs of different species and how they look different on the outside, but that they were connected through a very special love. She would jump in with her silly additions and we would crack up laughing.
This was a connection point for us, and a story we both got excited to talk about. I’ll never forget the moment she looked at me and said “You are my T-rex mama and I’m your brontosaurus baby!”. She was able to put it together all on her own. It was a very easy book for me to write, because I had been working on it with her for years. It’s our special story.
Can you tell us a little bit more about your fertility journey and how that inspired different aspects of your book?
Victoria Niño: I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Endometriosis at the age of 32, after trying to conceive for three years without success. At that time, my husband and I entered the world of infertility treatments, and had no idea what would be in store for us. We moved forward with IUI, then IVF, and still no baby. I had a surgery to remove my endometriosis, tried IVF again, and still nothing.
This was when I was faced with the decision to pursue donor eggs. At the time, I knew no one who had conceived this way, and had never even seen a story like this on TV. I struggled with the idea of not passing on my genetics to my children, but my desire to become a mother trumped anything else. I moved through the darkest, saddest time of my life, holding onto the tiniest glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, my dreams could still come true.
Fast forward to finally getting pregnant for the first time in my life, at 38 years old (after eight years of trying to conceive) with the help of an egg donor. I knew that the baby growing inside of me was the baby always meant for me and that I would do absolutely anything to protect her. When she was born and looked nothing like me, it didn’t matter to me. When I looked into her eyes, all I saw was my reflection — my heart beating inside another human. I got to be a vessel to the most beautiful soul — my greatest honor.
I was fortunate enough to get pregnant a second time, after more losses and a miscarriage, with a second egg donor — which led me to my second dream come true — my son. My journey to become a mother was not easy, and if I’m being honest, there were many times I didn’t think I was meant to be a mom, but here I am today confident that I was always meant for this and they were meant for me.
What was the writing process like for you?
Victoria Niño: I first tried writing the story as a rhyme and adding in more of a plot, trying so hard to make it funny, and was getting super hung up. I felt like I had what they call “writer's block” and I almost gave up on it, and then I was talking with a friend and she said, “Why don’t you just tell the same story you have been telling for years?” and a light bulb went off. I went back to my computer that same day and finished the book in less than an hour. I read it to my husband and we both cried. He looked at me and said, “That’s the story!”
Have you always wanted to write children’s books?
Victoria Niño: Haha, no! If you had told me I’d be writing a kids book 10 years ago, I would have laughed, but now that I have started I don’t want to stop! I’m already starting to think about what’s next.
What are some of your favorite children's books? And what about "grownup" books?
Victoria Niño: I love what Flo loves: elaborate, colorful stories of creatures and animals. We have so many dinosaur books, as well as stories about unicorns and dragons. I personally love Dr. Seuss books! Also, Hattie Peck, a story about a chicken who only ever laid one egg and it never hatches, so she goes all around the world collecting eggs from other species and hatches them all! I wish I had time to read adult books, but I have read most of Glennon Doyle’s books and love them all.
Are there other books you’ve read that you recommend to parents who are struggling with fertility?
Victoria Niño: I typically favor books that you can create your own story from. “What Makes a Baby,” by Cory Silverberg is a really awesome book that I think every family should own, it provides a great framework for any family dynamic. I also love “Love Makes a Family,” “Wish,” “I’ve Loved you Since Forever,” and “You Belong Here” and “You’re Here for a Reason.”
What was the most surprising thing you learned about writing a book?
Victoria Niño: How much work and time goes into it! To get it right, you need a lot of time, effort, edits, opinions etc. I truly value the work a publisher has to do, I had no idea!
What was it like working with your illustrator Gal Weizman?
Victoria Niño: AMAZING! We clicked right away and I knew after seeing her work and meeting her that she was the perfect person for the job. I am continuously impressed with her ability to deliver exactly what is in my head.
What has been your favorite part about the book publishing process?
Victoria Niño: Seeing the story come to life through illustrations and being able to be a part of that process. I know not every publisher involves the author in the creative vision and editing, I feel so lucky!
What is your favorite illustration in the book?
Victoria Niño: Probably when the mama and child are on the floor amongst the spilled bags of groceries laughing together - the way their faces light up next to each other in such a simple moment. It’s so pure, the love is so apparent, and is a great reminder to relish these silly moments.
What do you hope families learn from reading this book?
Victoria Niño: That no matter how your family was made or how different things may look on the outside, we are all the same on the inside. That’s where the love is.
“When she was born and looked nothing like me, it didn’t matter to me. When I looked into her eyes, all I saw was my reflection — my heart beating inside another human. I got to be a vessel to the most beautiful soul — my greatest honor.”